ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be a nervous young man
ALT
I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself
u know someone’s about to get dragged through the mud when an academic uses the phrase ‘it’s tempting to assume’
“it’s tempting to assume” is academic speaking for “you might think, if you’re a fucking idiot,”
hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious
Bram Stoker’s Dracula, First Edition, 1897
Published in Westminster by the Archibald Constable and Company